Trying to get things under control, and the only thing that comes to mind is the phrase "control is an illusion" and the quote by Thomas Merton "I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me."
How many times in the last two weeks have I spoken with my stomach? "Stop hurting! I don't need that much stomach acid--I haven't been able to eat more than one almond at a time for the last week and a half! What are you doing? OK, now you decide to behave--church is over!" Everything is out of control, and I'm really struggling with what to do about it if I can do anything.
Just now, I swallowed one of those horse pills they call prenatal vitamins. I'm supposed to take these for the baby which is currently the size of a bean, so I put them down my throat like a good girl and it's as likely as not that they'll just come right back up again in no time. The most frustrating thing about being pregnant in the first trimester is that I want to complain almost more than I'll want to complain throughout the entire rest of the pregnancy, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone. All I can say, in the code words of one my friends whose trying to get pregnant, "I'm feeling rather poorly today."