Friday, June 13, 2014
Some Thoughts on the Ordain Women Movement
In light of the recent news about the disciplinary counsels set for Kate Kelly and John Dehlin, I've been reading a lot about the Priesthood and trying to understand my place as a Mormon women within it.
(1) I feel that the parallel many people are drawing between the 1978 Revelation giving blacks the priesthood is incorrect. Yes, it's true there was inequality among the members of the church, and yes, it's true that the questioning of members led to new revelation correcting the inequality. The women of Ordain Women began by following this same procedure (questioning/agitating) and felt, because of historical precedent, that they would get a similar revelation including women in the priesthood. After Elder Oaks' talk this last General Conference, it became clear that the answer was a doctrinal 'No.'
The difference lies in the two groups asking to be included in priesthood ordination: in my opinion, race is a mortal distinction that shouldn't matter here because it won't matter in Heaven while gender is a fundamental difference not only in the core identity of each of us, but in our paths to Godhood.
In other words, I as a woman here on earth have a female spirit within me as well as a female intelligence while males have male spirits and intelligences (Abraham 3:22). We have different roles here because we will have different roles as exalted beings. Women and men are meant to need each other (Corinthians 11:11) and our different responsibilities here on earth hint at our complementary responsibilities in Heaven (D&C 131:1-3).
(2) I am also frustrated with the limited focus and perhaps also the limited understanding of Kate Kelly and the supporters of the Ordain Women movement. The Priesthood, or the authority to wield the power of God, is so vast; Ordination is just one facet ("Our Great Potential" by Spencer W. Kimball). The intense focus on the ordination of women is preventing us from exploring how the priesthood actually functions in our lives and where we are able to wield it. Women may not administer the Church, but we certainly have access to the Power of God . We should stop asking to be ordained and instead ask for more revelation and clarification on what we truly are capable of with the power we have been given.
Spencer W. Kimball said: "Each of you should be grateful to be a woman! Self-pity is always a sad thing to see and especially when there is no justification for it. To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife."
"Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual. The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for each of you to reach your fullest potential, which is eternal progression and the possibility of godhood." (Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters).
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Breastfeeding, Sleep Training, and Growth
So, after much research and experimentation of my own, I've come to an interesting conclusion: What you eat definitely comes through your breastmilk and your milk quality impacts how your baby sleeps and grows. There are three principles I've found helpful.
Principle 1: It's not milk volume, it's milk quality. You can feed your baby all day, but if you are missing essential nutrients or they are too spread out in your milk (because you make too much for your baby to drain at least one breast with each feeding), your baby will be hungry all the time. Interestingly, low milk quality is actually not related directly to your diet. Check out this interesting article from KellyMom: kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-diet/. The gist of the article is that the baby will steal nutrients from you, so a poor diet will affect you more than it will your baby. But, what if you are absolutely missing (completely deficient in) certain nutrients despite a healthy diet? This will certainly affect your baby, and it can show up in sleep problems (waking up every couple of hours at night to nurse well into the 5th or 6th month), digestive troubles (gas, constipation), and growth problems. So, how do you know which nutrients you're missing?
Principle 2: Add to your diet rather than take away. Here are a list of things to try adding to your diet if your baby is not growing, digesting, or sleeping well:
For better growth: Oils and healthy cholesterol-rich foods--These make your milk fattier and have an added benefit of decreasing plugged ducts (perhaps they make the ducts more slippery so the milk flows better).
Coconut oil (add 2 Tbs a day)
Olive oil (add 2 Tbs a day)
Peanut butter (add 2 Tbs a day)
Nuts of all kinds (a handful each of 2-3 varieties)
More eggs (like 5-6 a day!)
Cod liver oil (see the Weston A. Price diet for info on this one)
Also, for those of you with way too much milk and an underweight baby (like me), check out this article: kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/. For me, it turned breastfeeding from a failure into a success in 2 weeks, and my girls are both growing like crazy.
For better digestion: Just because it's normal for many breastfed babies to poop only every 6-14 days doesn't mean that's what you want for your baby. Healthy adults eliminate once a day or so. Why shouldn't babies be that same? Try these three categories of diet changes to encourage your baby to poop more often and to reduce gas and fussiness.
1. Increase metabolism: selenium, zinc, and iodine
(selenium)
brazil nuts
sunflower seeds
fish and shellfish
(zinc)
fish
beef
chicken
spinach
chocolate
(iodine)
seaweed
2. Improve your own digestion:
Oils (the same oils used to increase growth can help improve digestion by making the digestive tract slipperier)
Probiotics--lacto-fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, and homemade saurkraut and pickles
Whole cooked or soaked grains rather than flour (even whole wheat and other whole-grain flours can glue up the digestive tract)
3. Cleanse the liver: There are lots of breastfeeding-safe ways to improve liver function. This helps the baby's digestion and also decreases breastfeeding jaundice.
Garlic (mince and swallow 1 clove of fresh garlic a day. Don't chew it. It must be fresh as well as freshly cut in order to get the maximum benefit)
Turmeric (powdered or fresh is fine, 1/2 tsp powder, piece of fresh)
Ginger (powdered or fresh, 1/2 tsp powder, piece of fresh)
Milk thistle (try making a milk thistle tea with honey)
For better sleep: Eat foods that help you relax and sleep.
Raw milk (better digested than pasteurized)
turkey (contains chemicals that relax you)
cottage cheese
maca (this is the South American sweet potato, easiest to find in powdered form, increases progesterone, the relaxation hormone, decreases anxiety)
sweet potato
Remember, that part of good sleeping comes from parental training. Parents must teach their babies to get themselves to sleep, so before you write off letting your baby fuss or cry to sleep, think about this: Babies get overwhelmed easily and have to let off stress by crying (I cry when I'm overwhelmed). I'm not talking about screaming or wailing here, just a normal wah-wah-wah kind of cry with tears that helps reduce stress by releasing stress hormones through the tear ducts and through increased respiration. Also, remember that growth hormone is released during the deepest stage of sleep. The less time a baby spends there because of nighttime waking, the harder it will be for him or her to grow.
Principle 3: Eat the foods that make you feel good in the long run.
Avoid foods that make you feel yucky like coffee and OTC meds if you can.
Also, if you find the metabolism increasers above helpful, you should probably avoid broccoli, cauliflower, and soy, as these counteract the effects of selenium, zinc, and iodine.
If raw milk works for you, try to avoid drinking pasteurized milk. Other than that, eat healthy foods whenever you are hungry, and drink when you're thirsty.
Good luck, and happy mothering!
Principle 1: It's not milk volume, it's milk quality. You can feed your baby all day, but if you are missing essential nutrients or they are too spread out in your milk (because you make too much for your baby to drain at least one breast with each feeding), your baby will be hungry all the time. Interestingly, low milk quality is actually not related directly to your diet. Check out this interesting article from KellyMom: kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-diet/. The gist of the article is that the baby will steal nutrients from you, so a poor diet will affect you more than it will your baby. But, what if you are absolutely missing (completely deficient in) certain nutrients despite a healthy diet? This will certainly affect your baby, and it can show up in sleep problems (waking up every couple of hours at night to nurse well into the 5th or 6th month), digestive troubles (gas, constipation), and growth problems. So, how do you know which nutrients you're missing?
Principle 2: Add to your diet rather than take away. Here are a list of things to try adding to your diet if your baby is not growing, digesting, or sleeping well:
For better growth: Oils and healthy cholesterol-rich foods--These make your milk fattier and have an added benefit of decreasing plugged ducts (perhaps they make the ducts more slippery so the milk flows better).
Coconut oil (add 2 Tbs a day)
Olive oil (add 2 Tbs a day)
Peanut butter (add 2 Tbs a day)
Nuts of all kinds (a handful each of 2-3 varieties)
More eggs (like 5-6 a day!)
Cod liver oil (see the Weston A. Price diet for info on this one)
Also, for those of you with way too much milk and an underweight baby (like me), check out this article: kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/. For me, it turned breastfeeding from a failure into a success in 2 weeks, and my girls are both growing like crazy.
For better digestion: Just because it's normal for many breastfed babies to poop only every 6-14 days doesn't mean that's what you want for your baby. Healthy adults eliminate once a day or so. Why shouldn't babies be that same? Try these three categories of diet changes to encourage your baby to poop more often and to reduce gas and fussiness.
1. Increase metabolism: selenium, zinc, and iodine
(selenium)
brazil nuts
sunflower seeds
fish and shellfish
(zinc)
fish
beef
chicken
spinach
chocolate
(iodine)
seaweed
2. Improve your own digestion:
Oils (the same oils used to increase growth can help improve digestion by making the digestive tract slipperier)
Probiotics--lacto-fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, and homemade saurkraut and pickles
Whole cooked or soaked grains rather than flour (even whole wheat and other whole-grain flours can glue up the digestive tract)
3. Cleanse the liver: There are lots of breastfeeding-safe ways to improve liver function. This helps the baby's digestion and also decreases breastfeeding jaundice.
Garlic (mince and swallow 1 clove of fresh garlic a day. Don't chew it. It must be fresh as well as freshly cut in order to get the maximum benefit)
Turmeric (powdered or fresh is fine, 1/2 tsp powder, piece of fresh)
Ginger (powdered or fresh, 1/2 tsp powder, piece of fresh)
Milk thistle (try making a milk thistle tea with honey)
For better sleep: Eat foods that help you relax and sleep.
Raw milk (better digested than pasteurized)
turkey (contains chemicals that relax you)
cottage cheese
maca (this is the South American sweet potato, easiest to find in powdered form, increases progesterone, the relaxation hormone, decreases anxiety)
sweet potato
Remember, that part of good sleeping comes from parental training. Parents must teach their babies to get themselves to sleep, so before you write off letting your baby fuss or cry to sleep, think about this: Babies get overwhelmed easily and have to let off stress by crying (I cry when I'm overwhelmed). I'm not talking about screaming or wailing here, just a normal wah-wah-wah kind of cry with tears that helps reduce stress by releasing stress hormones through the tear ducts and through increased respiration. Also, remember that growth hormone is released during the deepest stage of sleep. The less time a baby spends there because of nighttime waking, the harder it will be for him or her to grow.
Principle 3: Eat the foods that make you feel good in the long run.
Avoid foods that make you feel yucky like coffee and OTC meds if you can.
Also, if you find the metabolism increasers above helpful, you should probably avoid broccoli, cauliflower, and soy, as these counteract the effects of selenium, zinc, and iodine.
If raw milk works for you, try to avoid drinking pasteurized milk. Other than that, eat healthy foods whenever you are hungry, and drink when you're thirsty.
Good luck, and happy mothering!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thursday, September 9, 2010
You know you're morning sick when...
In the spirit of hyperbole and a half, one of my new favorite blogs, I have decided to write a hopefully comical version "you know you're morning sick when...". Having just discovered that I am indeed pregnant, a revelation that occurred in the docter's office at the urgent care after I'd spent the week throwing up, I can empathize with those who get really sick during that first trimester.
After finding out that what I was sick with was incurable and would likely last at least 6 more weeks if I was lucky and 9 months if I wasn't, I immediately turned to the internet for solace. I googled "morning sickness jokes.' Apparently, morning sickness isn't very funny. I found three jokes, two of which I remember, one about a women who wasn't even pregnant. she was just "damn sick of mornings" and the other about a lady with bowel cancer. I didn't find either of them amusing in the least and the last one wasn't memorable enough even to reserve a not funny slot in my brain. My advice? Don't bother looking for first trimester jokes if you're throwing up and want a laugh. It will only disturb you.
One of the ladies at my church described morning sickness this way: "It's like when you used to get up really early for school in highschool and you were starving because it was so early, but you didn't really want to eat also because it was so early." Eating that early sounds almost unethical in some way, but you feel that if you don't get some food in your stomach, you will keel over from starvation. She said she used to eat apples in the shower, and as soon I began wondering about the logistics of how she managed this, I realized that I should stop. There are very few reasons to visualize your friends in the shower (in fact, I can't think of any right off the top of my head). You might start thinking of them differently, and not knowing this woman very well, I wanted the conversation to avoid such an akward turn on my part.
For me, morning sickness has been worse than just a feeling of starvation and the inability to fill the gaping hole in my stomach. It's been worse than queasy. Sometimes, especially early in the morning, but it can happen anytime during the day, my stomach rebels completely. It doesn't matter how much if any food there is down there. If he (yes, I've considered my stomach a he ever since he started misbehaving so badly--I think it's because then it seems separate from me, like a bad pet cat or dog that I can punish and then lock in the laundry room for an hour.) doesn't get his immediate desire, he will simply contract, pushing the nothing in there up and out. It's often just air and I burb, but sometimes stomach acid comes up too.
This stomach rebellion leads me to the constant mantra "Must eat, must eat, must eat." In the past 4 weeks, I've opened a can of everything we have in the house and left most open on the counter unable to take more than a bite, some of which I spit out into the sink. This syndrome is shown best in Dr. Who the "food" episode available on youtube.
The above doesn't happen as much anymore. I've found some "safe" foods that seem to be able to avert disaster at certain times of the day, but there is not magical food item for those early hours of the morning. I usually try to get something, really anything solid into my stomach and then go back to sleep for an hour or so to let things settle. Sometimes it works and sometimes, my stomach sneak attacks me.
At the beginning of this whole experience, my husband and I designated a throw up bowl. It's one of the metal mixing bowls we used to use for cooking but likely won't use every again after how well it's been used in the last month. I keep it with me wherever I am and at night, it sits next to my bed in an easily accesible location.
Anyway, the other day, I had woken up a little earlier and eaten part of a granola bar and drunk some juice. I felt pretty good about what I'd accomplished and wasn't feeling nauseous, so I allowed myself to fall back to sleep. My stomach was obviously not pleased with this arrangement. While I slept over the next 45 minutes, it consumed the juice and granola bar and proceeded to make so much acid that when I woke up at 8:15 and rolled over, I almost fell out of bed in my desperation not to vomit all over my pillow. I barely made it. My husband woke up to my pitiful retching sounds, and this time, I felt the need to apologize for the delightful wake up call.
After finding out that what I was sick with was incurable and would likely last at least 6 more weeks if I was lucky and 9 months if I wasn't, I immediately turned to the internet for solace. I googled "morning sickness jokes.' Apparently, morning sickness isn't very funny. I found three jokes, two of which I remember, one about a women who wasn't even pregnant. she was just "damn sick of mornings" and the other about a lady with bowel cancer. I didn't find either of them amusing in the least and the last one wasn't memorable enough even to reserve a not funny slot in my brain. My advice? Don't bother looking for first trimester jokes if you're throwing up and want a laugh. It will only disturb you.
One of the ladies at my church described morning sickness this way: "It's like when you used to get up really early for school in highschool and you were starving because it was so early, but you didn't really want to eat also because it was so early." Eating that early sounds almost unethical in some way, but you feel that if you don't get some food in your stomach, you will keel over from starvation. She said she used to eat apples in the shower, and as soon I began wondering about the logistics of how she managed this, I realized that I should stop. There are very few reasons to visualize your friends in the shower (in fact, I can't think of any right off the top of my head). You might start thinking of them differently, and not knowing this woman very well, I wanted the conversation to avoid such an akward turn on my part.
For me, morning sickness has been worse than just a feeling of starvation and the inability to fill the gaping hole in my stomach. It's been worse than queasy. Sometimes, especially early in the morning, but it can happen anytime during the day, my stomach rebels completely. It doesn't matter how much if any food there is down there. If he (yes, I've considered my stomach a he ever since he started misbehaving so badly--I think it's because then it seems separate from me, like a bad pet cat or dog that I can punish and then lock in the laundry room for an hour.) doesn't get his immediate desire, he will simply contract, pushing the nothing in there up and out. It's often just air and I burb, but sometimes stomach acid comes up too.
This stomach rebellion leads me to the constant mantra "Must eat, must eat, must eat." In the past 4 weeks, I've opened a can of everything we have in the house and left most open on the counter unable to take more than a bite, some of which I spit out into the sink. This syndrome is shown best in Dr. Who the "food" episode available on youtube.
The above doesn't happen as much anymore. I've found some "safe" foods that seem to be able to avert disaster at certain times of the day, but there is not magical food item for those early hours of the morning. I usually try to get something, really anything solid into my stomach and then go back to sleep for an hour or so to let things settle. Sometimes it works and sometimes, my stomach sneak attacks me.
At the beginning of this whole experience, my husband and I designated a throw up bowl. It's one of the metal mixing bowls we used to use for cooking but likely won't use every again after how well it's been used in the last month. I keep it with me wherever I am and at night, it sits next to my bed in an easily accesible location.
Anyway, the other day, I had woken up a little earlier and eaten part of a granola bar and drunk some juice. I felt pretty good about what I'd accomplished and wasn't feeling nauseous, so I allowed myself to fall back to sleep. My stomach was obviously not pleased with this arrangement. While I slept over the next 45 minutes, it consumed the juice and granola bar and proceeded to make so much acid that when I woke up at 8:15 and rolled over, I almost fell out of bed in my desperation not to vomit all over my pillow. I barely made it. My husband woke up to my pitiful retching sounds, and this time, I felt the need to apologize for the delightful wake up call.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Trying to get things under control, and the only thing that comes to mind is the phrase "control is an illusion" and the quote by Thomas Merton "I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me."
How many times in the last two weeks have I spoken with my stomach? "Stop hurting! I don't need that much stomach acid--I haven't been able to eat more than one almond at a time for the last week and a half! What are you doing? OK, now you decide to behave--church is over!" Everything is out of control, and I'm really struggling with what to do about it if I can do anything.
Just now, I swallowed one of those horse pills they call prenatal vitamins. I'm supposed to take these for the baby which is currently the size of a bean, so I put them down my throat like a good girl and it's as likely as not that they'll just come right back up again in no time. The most frustrating thing about being pregnant in the first trimester is that I want to complain almost more than I'll want to complain throughout the entire rest of the pregnancy, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone. All I can say, in the code words of one my friends whose trying to get pregnant, "I'm feeling rather poorly today."
How many times in the last two weeks have I spoken with my stomach? "Stop hurting! I don't need that much stomach acid--I haven't been able to eat more than one almond at a time for the last week and a half! What are you doing? OK, now you decide to behave--church is over!" Everything is out of control, and I'm really struggling with what to do about it if I can do anything.
Just now, I swallowed one of those horse pills they call prenatal vitamins. I'm supposed to take these for the baby which is currently the size of a bean, so I put them down my throat like a good girl and it's as likely as not that they'll just come right back up again in no time. The most frustrating thing about being pregnant in the first trimester is that I want to complain almost more than I'll want to complain throughout the entire rest of the pregnancy, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone. All I can say, in the code words of one my friends whose trying to get pregnant, "I'm feeling rather poorly today."
Sunday, August 22, 2010
morning sickness
I am so miserable. I just want to complain for a minute or two if that's all right. I am sick to my stomach, sometimes violently, all day and even through the night. I wake up several times at night sick and hungry, and all day long, I feel that I need to eat, but my gag reflex is too strong. It is horrible. I just sit around all the time watching movies and trying to work when I can. I missed church, and I'm starting to get really depressed. Vitamins B would probably help with the depression, but they are too hard on my poor little stomach. I'm so bloated, I don't feel comfortable in my jeans or shorts, so I'm lounging around in my sweats, hot and sweaty all day and night. I've tried to at least shower each day if I can, but I can't stay standing upright long enough to do my hair and makeup. Bryan loves me anyway, but I wish this didn't have to last six weeks or longer. Pregnancy is so miserable so far! I can't wait until these two months are over so I can feel good again and have energy and no nausea. How the heck am I going to make it through? The days seem to crawl by slowly, so slowly. Even though I have tons of time, I can't seem to focus on anything useful because I'm so sick to my stomach. All I can think about is how to relieve the nausea. Should I eat or not eat? Cheese? Milk? Salmon? Saltine crackers? Argh!! I keep wanting to go to bed earlier and earlier because i keep feeling worse and worse but the nights bring no relief. I wake up to the shock of the nausea every couple of hours some nights. The best nights, I sleep only halfway through, waking up only once. I'm so exhausted. I can have a good attitude most of the time, but right now, I'm miserable, and I just want to complain. I think this is helping. Thanks for listening.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Natural Earache remedy
When I was young, I got a lot of earaches and whenever my mom'd take me to see the doc, he'd pour this oily stuff into my aching ear, and the ache would subside. I woke up this morning with a really bad earache and so I thought I'd try to recreate the oily earache med. It worked! Here it is:
Pour together a teaspoon olive oil and a few drops of "Mentholatum" oil (essential oils of peppermint, eucalyptus, cajeput, wintergreen, juniper, clove) in a small cup or bowl. Add a glob of topical arnica gel or a drop or two of arnica oil if you can find it. The gel will melt into the oil as it warms.
Warm the cup double-boiler style by setting it or holding it half-way submerged in a pot of boiling water. (Don't let any of the hot water get into the mixture.)
Once warm (NOT hot!), tilt head to side and use a tissue or eye-dropper to fill the ear up. Lay with head tilted for 5-10 minutes or until pain begins to subside.
I also combine this treatment with a sinus decongestant and advil or another swell-reducing pain medication. The trick with earaches is to reduce the swelling in the ear canal and allow the infection to drain. In fact, the antibiotic meds they give you at the doctor often work best because they reduce the swelling rather than actually kill the infection. Earaches are often not caused by bacteria but by virus or yeast and antibiotics don't do any good in these instances! Try the natural method first before you get antibiotics from the doc.
Pour together a teaspoon olive oil and a few drops of "Mentholatum" oil (essential oils of peppermint, eucalyptus, cajeput, wintergreen, juniper, clove) in a small cup or bowl. Add a glob of topical arnica gel or a drop or two of arnica oil if you can find it. The gel will melt into the oil as it warms.
Warm the cup double-boiler style by setting it or holding it half-way submerged in a pot of boiling water. (Don't let any of the hot water get into the mixture.)
Once warm (NOT hot!), tilt head to side and use a tissue or eye-dropper to fill the ear up. Lay with head tilted for 5-10 minutes or until pain begins to subside.
I also combine this treatment with a sinus decongestant and advil or another swell-reducing pain medication. The trick with earaches is to reduce the swelling in the ear canal and allow the infection to drain. In fact, the antibiotic meds they give you at the doctor often work best because they reduce the swelling rather than actually kill the infection. Earaches are often not caused by bacteria but by virus or yeast and antibiotics don't do any good in these instances! Try the natural method first before you get antibiotics from the doc.
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